How I Barely Survived My First (12) Days on Substack (An Oldie But Goodie)

What does restacking mean anyway?

This was not intended to be a post, but friends on Notes seem to be enjoying it, so here goes…..

How I Barely Survived My First (12) Days on Substack

1. Joined. Hey, this is cool.

2. Post 1. Post 2. Post 3, Post 4. I’m Secretariat here.  

3. I’m posting into the ether and no one hears it.

4. What, no subscribers? HELLO…..!

5. Hey, what’s this Notes tab?

6. Notes are cool. Kindness, encouragement, honesty. It’s real in here.

7. No one is restacking my Notes.

8. What does restacking mean anyway? 

9. Oh look, seven non-friend/family subscribers in 10 days.

10. Only seven? I saw some tech guy with over 500,000. I’ll be pickled before I reach 50. Why worry about a few zeros?

11. Maybe that tech guy’s second cousin will tell him about one of my posts while golfing.

12. I’m so grateful for my seven subscribers.

13. Why do so many other posts say I actually need to “offer” my readers something of value? 

14. Offer whom what? Who wants to read my short stories? I don’t know anything about nothing. I’m a Joe who sometimes puts words in the right order. Doesn’t everyone like words in the right order?  I don’t know, maybe I should scramble them. Accomplish what that would?  Wait, I’m Yoda now?

15. I’m running low on cat food.

16. Why am I on Substack?  I thought I had tamed my ego. Darn it. 

17. I’m going back to the Notes section. That’s where the cool kids hang out. 

18. I love complimenting great work in Notes. It’s like giving someone a friendship pin. Only better.

19. 785 views in 10 days. Yeah, but most of those were me. And only 40 read my FAVORITE post. Most of those were me. I mean, it’s actually good, right? Darn it. 

20. I’m so grateful for my seven subscribers.

21. Oh wow, look at this amazing bundle that Substack Soiree shared. So generous.

22. I showed Bodhi (dog) that I made him my new mascot. Now he wants an iced Milkbone as a royalty. Who raised him? Next time, I’m not showing him.

23. This is huge. I posted a non-fiction story in which Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is mentioned. He’s huge on Substack. Maybe he will restack it – oh, I get it now – and send me a signed jersey. 

24. No way Kareem sees that even though I tagged his name within the piece. I’m shameless.  

25. Thank God for my seven subscribers. 

26. I still have no idea why I’m writing here. I could keep these pieces in Dropbox with my old ones. It’s not like I’m going to blow through my storage quota. 

27. Yeah, but then I wouldn’t get to join in other people’s adventures.

28. “Hey Bodhi, let’s go for a walk.” I bet he and Hannah (cat) will help me answer the “why” question. 

29. Shit, I only have two rolls of poop bags left. Talk about anxiety.   

30. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get another subscriber.

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